Wow.. so long never write blog le worz.. got miss me anot?? must miss horz.. reali must worz.. lolx.. dun care me too much.. so much stress.. until i siao liaoz worz.. haiz.. so sad sia.. got so many things to do.. and i haven started doing it yet.. what the heck..?? haven start doing art oso.. siao liao le lahz.. tuesday paper and i haven start and i'm still sitting here slacking.. but what to do?? no inspiration.. so sianz.. no mood to do.. dunno what to draw.. sia lahz.. like that how can worz?? hmz.. this month.. haiz.. i dunno what to say.. got so many things.. so many clarification.. haiz.. i reali dunno what i'm writing.. i'm so last.. so confused.. sobb sobb.. sometime i just wish time could turn back and freeze.. i don't want to go into the future.. i just wan to stay behind.. Somehow there is nothing for me to look forward to in the future.. haiz.. sad sad sad.. cheat here.. bluff there.. lie and lie.. what for??? does doing all those make life happier?? easier??? No.. it does not.. so why bother to do all those??? one white lie can bring about another lie.. and then another.. how many lies must one tell to cover up for the first one??? Why must people lie?? maybe bcos they realy cannot help it when they are nervous... It's hard to say.. Sometime a lie can help instead of hurt.. Haiz.. i dunno what i'm writing oso.. just blabbering away.. maybe i stay around too long feeling sorry for myself.. for everything around.. sad sad.. i don't want to mentioned what happen to me for these past days here.. i dont' find that there's a need.. Y?? cos what has done cannot be undo.. so heart breaking.. heartaches.. heart pain.. and i think that there is nothing that can cure my heart.. the scar is there.. so destoryed.. I hope that everything will be back to normal.. i wish that nothing has ever happen.. i reali dunno what i want now.. what am i going to do.. i'm so lost.. so confuse.. just like a sheep lost in a meadow.. i dunno what i did is right.. i don't want to regret but i think for now, i will.. but somehow i rather regret cos i think i owe him too much till i dunno how to repay.. he may say that it's okiez and there's no need to repay but to me, what i feel deep down inside me is that i'm the worse person on earth.. worse person that ever live.. he did sacrifice alot for me and i know.. i appreiate it.. but what have i ever do for him?? NOTHING.. nothing at all i can say.. maybe leaving him and letting him have a new life, a life without me is better.. At least he don't have to feel so bad whenever i made him angry.. whenever i made him sad.. I'm sorry for what i have done in the past.. All that i have do wrong.. I'm sorry dar.. sorry.. i'm sure life would be alot more better with me.. and i know that there is smeone out there who is willing to look after u.. the way that i can never do.. i wish u all the best.. forget me.. forget everything abt me.. those memories.. it's not worth to remember.. especially me.. I think i don't wan to write anymore.. can't hold back the tears i keep behind all night.. i jus wan to be left alone now.. all alone.. i jus wan to feel left out.. wan to be outcast.. i wan to be lonely.. to be alone by myself.. i'm sorry.. that's all that i can say now..
Love Candy
A Never Ending Love
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Sianz ah!!! Today got 3 paper in a day.. First is Engliah paper 1 then after that got paper 2 and lastly the most crucial one.. Physic paper 2... That paper ar.. actuali not day diffcult.. but it isn't easy either..
anyway the topic this year for composition is not that nice lorz.. somehow i don't reali like the topic given.. not sure what to do oso.. but no choice still have to do lorz.. the comprehension still quite okiez ba.. physic ar.. nvm.. dun talk abt it.. i dunno what to say.. haiz.. ke lian de ali.. nv bring calculator worz.. next time cannot like that ar.. especially maths worz.. if not u sure die one lorz..
hao le lahz.. dun wan talk abt exam le.. say le i oso shag.. hmz.. todat actuali wan to go eat pasta with ali but then afternoon got eat mahz.. still full full.. so tml must try to pester her to go with me.. see how lorz.. she ar.. nowadays dunno y so into the Kakashi thingy.. anyway, quite nice lahz.. but not my style lorz.. or maybe i should go take a real look.. i might like it.. who knows right?? lolx..
hmz.. these days always play pool.. dunno is improving or not.. yesterday play.. lose until siao.. maybe my luck is not there ba.. hope that today will be better lorz.. if not the mark reali veri pathatic lorz.. lolx.. haiz.. wish me luck man!!!
anyway, nowdays must take my meal regularly.. cos got gastric pain mahz.. haiz.. no choice.. sometime can reali pain until cannot tahan and lie dead in bed sia.. so a note to all, dun skip ya meal too often and spoil ya body like me.. if not it's too late to regret worz..
okie lahz.. dun wan write le.. update another day ba.. anyway, all mus take care of urself.. me misses u all.. muz miss me too okiez?? muackz!!! cya!! bye!!!
Love Candy
A Never Ending Love
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
hmz.. new day of a new month worz.. erm.. not sure whether to say it's a good start or what worz.. yesterday was actuali okie expect for some misunderstanding between me and my dar dar.. haiz.. sorry abt yesterday.. it's not that i dun wan to let u see.. nvm abt it.. anyway, it's resolved le.. (^_^) hope that things would be back to normal.. or even better..
haiz.. today the start of my "O" Level le worz.. so scare.. nv study for social studies at all worz.. today hurry read through the few pages.. luckily the ones i've read came out.. abt Switzerland worz.. so luckily me.. =) anyway, the paper cannot say diffcult.. but oso can say easy worz.. half half ba.. hmz.. paper start at 8.00am.. then end at 9.30am worz.. sianz.. tml got 3 paper some more.. sobb sobb.. not sure how to study oso.. tml got eng paper 1 and 2 and oso physic paper 2 worz.. sianz lahz.. 3 paper lehz.. how worz??
hmz.. today stay at home.. but then must accompany my granny to the airport.. she go Thailand worz.. i oso want to go.. but too bad.. cannot.. cos got exam mahz.. and oso cannot bear to leave my dar dar.. later too miss him le.. how?? lolx.. anyway, today reali bored lorz.. must study but dunno how to worz.. dunnow here to start oso.. ahhh... hope this month faster over.. then i'm free!!! got freedom le !!!
hmz.. dun wan write le lahz.. so sianz.. i just wan to see my dar dar.. i wan hug hug.. haiz.. dunno what he doing today.. like so busy like that.. nvm lahz.. me no time accompany him oso.. hao le lahz.. juz stop here.. bye.. miss u all.. muackz!!!
Love Candy
A Never Ending Love
ABOUT ME
Name: Candida Ng
Nickname: TangTang
Age: 21
EggCrack: 15.01.1988
Profession: Designer In Training
Contact: luv_candy_88@hotmail.com
Wishing List
iPod
Boots
Camera
Holiday Trip A new Desktop
Chanel Wallet
Repaint my Room
Tiffany & Co Ring