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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

It's the mid of the holiday already.. Time sure pass fast when you got nothing to do.. School gonna start soon and hell will come again.. somehow thinking back about what happen during the holidays really makes me very sad.. How i wish that it is not holiday now.. I wish i've got something to occupied my mind now.. The bottom line of each and every problem is a lesson learn..

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Been thinking about what had happen these past week.. From my home to friends to relationship and stuff.. Life is changing but for me, i wonder if it is changing for the better or for the worse.. It's been a month since my maid went back.. Somehow the house is getting and more and more quiet.. And i seems to be getting more and more lonely at home.. Wake up to find the house empty as my parents are at work.. And my brother has left for school.. Been trying hard to find something to occupy during that time.. At that point of time i felt so small.. So alone in thes world.. There seems to be no one i can talk to.. No one seems to care about me.. I am all alone..

Since young life seems to have been not easy on me.. I've gone through lots of things which i can say that not many had.. Or should i say not many will.. I've always tell myself to be optimistic.. To look on the brighter side of life.. It's seems to help me to console myself little now and then but in the end, i'm still the same.. Feeling hurt and depress.. Feeling helpless and lonely.. Dear father, why must u do this to me? Why is life playing tricks on me? I tried my best in all i do.. I give all that i can to people who i love and all that i ask for is just a little bit in return.. All i need is some care and concern, some attention from the people i care and love.. Is that very hard?? Or is that impossible??

Lately, many things happen between my group of friends as well.. Firstly, we seems to be getting further and further apart.. Haven not met up since the start of the holiday.. Sigh.. there are many things i want to say to my friends:

Randy
Thanks for always being there when i need a friend.. although you've got so much on your mind yet you are still willing to listen to me nag and pour my heart out.. I'll always be there for you too.. I'll be your listening ears and the shoulder which you can cry on.. I always take our friendship seriously too.. I'm trying hard to solve all my thingy and hope you do the same too.. What has happen is already the past so like you have said, look forward for the further to a new and better life.. Believe and we'll see.. don't worry about bothering me with your things cos what are friends for right?? (^_^) If you have anything just blog it up too and i'll always check it out.. I guess every problem has its solution so don't think about it too much.. Take care when i'm not around too.. Stay happy and cheerful no matter what happen okiez?? At times, don't think too hard on what people say but instead what you think.. You yourself knows what is right for you.. Follow your heart..


Pei Xuan
Though you don't really read my blog but if you happen to come across this, it's for you.. We might not have known each other for a long time but you are a nice friend i can say.. I'm not sure what happen to you lately but i hope that it's over now.. It's sad to see you so upset in school.. Always in a daze and not sure what you are doing or what you want.. Although you did tell us about the incident but we are still not very sure why.. I think the best way is to not think so much.. Maybe you'll feel better.. sometime things are not as complicated as it seems so maybe by thinking so hard, it might make the problem worse and as well as add up to your burden.. We don't wanna see you like that.. Our groupie really hope that you are alright and back to your old normal self again.. Take good care of yourself no matter what happen.. Remember, we'll always be there for you..


Cheng Yi
I think among all of us, you're the most fortunate.. You have such wonderful family.. So always stay that way okiez?? And if you really have anything on your mind, share it with us.. Take care gal.. Smile always and stay cute.. (^_^)


Geraline
Gal.. Ya the one always with problems about boys.. I know what kind of situation you are in.. My parents used to be like that too.. Sometime we just have to get on with life and soon i guess it will be alright.. School life are always like that.. Hard to adapt but seems that you are getting better compare to your last few modules and as well as i can see those effort you've put in.. Continue to work hard and i know you can.. We'll go to poly together okiez?? Strive and work hard.. Anything, call me and talk.. I'm always there for you too.. Knows what your heart wants and things won't be so diffcult for you.. Take care and stay pretty..


Edwin
Thank you for all that you have done for me.. Those encouragement and nagging of yours sure did a great job.. Anyway, i'm sorry that i have let you down regarding "that" but i do appreciate those 2 weeks.. And i did enjoy your company.. We're always friends.. I do hope that you will not avoid me because of "that".. U too take good care of youraelf and don't smoke so much if not i'm sure next time you must change lungs already..


Alvin
I think i've written quite alot.. Lastly before i end, I want to thank one more person who have broght joy and laughter to my life.. Thank you Alvin.. Since i know you, you've really make my life brighten up and i really appreciate that.. I too will always be there for you whenever you need me.. Ya someone i cannot do without.. Or should i say live without.. Take good care of yourself though i'll take care of you too..


Love Candy





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Name: Candida Ng
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EggCrack: 15.01.1988
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