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Wednesday, July 05, 2006
As I grow older.. As time pass, I start to see the real cruel reality of the world.. The facts start to seep in and eventually, I start to see the picture of the jigsaw puzzle.. Bits and pieces, parts and parcels of life..
What can I say?? Life Sux!! It has kinda become a routine, doing the same boring stuff everyday.. Where's the joy of living gone to?? Where did all my happiness go?? It seems to me that each and everyday of my life is so miserable.. Each minute seems like an hour, each days seems like a year.. Why have my life turn out this sour??
Everyday I asked myself what have I done today that is worth living for but the answer I often get is nothing.. Why?? There is so many question marks in my life.. I always try and put in all my effort for everything I do but yet all that I have in return is disappointment.. There's a saying which goes like this, " Today well lived makes yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope" but it is so hard to live well today let alone tomorrow.. Maybe I should live my start living my life to the fullest as there are plenty of time to be dead..
"Once you love someone, that person is forever a part of you." Although I might be stubborn and willful at times but I making a big fuss out of little things is because I care about you.. I care about each and every single thing you said to me.. Knowing that you might not mean what you have said but yet I still feel the stab in my heart and I can't help the rolling tears.. I tell myself not to cry of at least not in front of you but I just cannot.. At a point of time I really want to end it.. My mind tells me to give up but my heart just won’t let me.. Even though we’ve been together for about 3 months but my feeling for you are strong and deep.. You mean a lot to me.. Every word and things that you have said and done means so much.. I don’t want to lose you and see u love someone else.. The worst thing about loving is watching the person you love, love someone else.. I don’t want that to happen.. Although times and again my heart breaks for you but yet I still love you with all those little pieces.. If loving you is a dream, then I would rather not wake up as dreams are wishes that my heart makes when I’m asleep.. Love can sometime be magical but magical can sometime be just an illusion.. If our love is just an illusion of magic then I would not want to go back to reality.. Dearie, one of the hardest thing is life is having words in your heart yet you can’t utter from your mouth.. At times, it’s not that I don’t wanna share and pour my heart out to you but it’s just that I have no idea how to put it or the words just seems unable to be spoken out.. I know it is unreasonable of me to always want things my way which cause you to be irritated.. All that I can say is to apologies to you and hope that u will forgive me..
Love is like a war, easy to start, hard to end, impossible to forget.. I think I’ll stop blogging here.. Not in the mood to say anymore things.. Hoping that life will get better.. Take care my friends..
Love Candy
A Never Ending Love